Sarah Lindsey

Sarah Lindsey, a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, uses a trauma-informed and relational perspective in her work. Unpack the concept of intergenerational trauma and, more importantly, intergenerational healing.

 

Here at Just Like Nana, I like to talk about the roots that ground us. I talk about the recipes, the stories, and the quiet wisdom passed down through generations. But in a recent conversation with Sarah Lindsey—a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist—we went deeper into the soil of those roots than ever before.

 

We talked about what it means to heal. Not just the surface-level “self-care” we see on social media, but the deep, cellular, and often intergenerational work of becoming whole.

Sarah works from a trauma-informed and relational perspective at As You Are Therapy, and within minutes of our conversation, I realized that her approach is the clinical embodiment of what we call “Grandma Energy.”

 

I always start my interviews by asking guests about a favorite memory of their grandmother. Sarah’s answer was immediate and visceral. She didn’t just tell a story; she described a feeling. She spoke about her grandmother’s orchid room—the specific humidity, the floral scent, and the quiet safety of that space.

 

Sarah explained that this is “sensory memory.” Long before we have the words to describe our trauma or our triumphs, our bodies are recording the environment. For Sarah, that orchid room is a “weighted resource”—a place her nervous system returns to when it needs to feel anchored.

 

As we talked, I realized how many of us have our own version of the orchid room. Maybe it’s the smell of yeast rising in a kitchen, the scratchy wool of a specific blanket, or the sound of a porch swing. These aren’t just nostalgic memories; they are the building blocks of our psychological safety.

One of the most profound moments in our talk was when Sarah discussed the timeline of healing. We often put so much pressure on ourselves to “fix” our family dynamics in six months of therapy. But Sarah offered a more compassionate, long-form perspective: It often takes three generations to fully move through a cycle.

 

She reminded me that our ancestors were often operating from a place of survival. They didn’t have the “resource” of time, safety, or mental health awareness that we have today. When we look back at our grandmothers, we might see patterns we want to change, but Sarah encourages us to look at them with “humanizing” eyes.

 

“Pain runs through families until someone is resourced enough to feel it,” she told me. If you are the one in your family who is finally feeling that pain, processing it, and naming it—you aren’t just healing yourself. You are doing the heavy lifting for the generations that came before you and the ones coming after. You are the “cycle breaker.”

In our independent culture, we are told to “pull ourselves up by our bootstraps.” Sarah is here to tell us that, biologically, that’s just not how we work.

 

She introduced the concept of co-regulation. Our nervous systems are constantly scanning the room for safety, and the fastest way to calm a dysregulated system is to be in the presence of someone who is grounded. This is why a grandmother’s hug feels different than any other hug. This is why Sarah’s work is so relational—she uses her own regulated system to help “hold” the big, scary emotions of her clients.

 

We talked about how we can find co-regulation even when our loved ones aren’t physically with us. We can co-regulate with nature, with pets, or even with the memory of a safe ancestor. We are “loved into being” by others, and it is through others that we find our way back to ourselves.

Sarah shared a journal prompt that is truly heart-opening: “Who loved you into being?”

This question isn’t just about your parents. It’s about the teacher who saw your potential, the neighbor who offered a kind word, or the grandmother whose orchid room felt like a sanctuary. When we identify these people, we identify our “resources.” We realize that we are supported by a vast lineage of care.

As we wrapped up our conversation, we shared a moment of gratitude for the “generational gifts” we’ve inherited. Yes, we may have inherited some trauma, but we also inherited resilience, humor, recipes, and the capacity to love.

 

I left my conversation with Sarah feeling a little more grounded and a lot more seen. Healing isn’t about becoming a perfect, “cured” version of yourself. It’s about creating a space—much like Sarah’s new community sensory room—where you can just be. Where you can have a cup of tea, do some art, and feel your feet on the floor.

 

If you are feeling overwhelmed by your own healing journey, I want to invite you to listen to this episode. Let Sarah’s voice be a source of co-regulation for you. Remind yourself that you are human, you are resilient, and you are being loved into being every single day.

Kudos to the grandmas, and kudos to you for doing the work.

 

To hear my full interview with Sarah Lindsey, listen to Episode 2 of the Just Like Nana podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your shows. You can also find Sarah at As You Are Therapy.